It's time to get serious. Serious about several things.

First, I set a goal to lose 25 pounds by Labor Day. I'm not even to 10 pounds lost. :(

Second, I want to totally overhaul our family budget. The economy is not helping. :(

Third, I need to finish my summer cleaning jobs. Okay. Well, um....I need to begin my summer cleaning jobs.

Where did the summer go?

I was reflecting tonight on the two classes that I took to renew my license. I think the state runs quite a racket by requiring teacher to continue to shell out hundreds of dollars each licensing cycle to just keep teaching, but I digress.

The first class was about designing motivation. I was glad to find out that I already do a lot of what was suggested, but I did come up with a few new ideas to try out. The second class was about classroom management (and that creativity and a multiple-intelligences approach will eliminate many behavioral issues), and I came up with several ideas to use during the ROMEO AND JULIET unit, as well as the TO KILL A MOCKINGBIRD unit.

As I was mulling over these new ideas, I became nauseated: School starts in three weeks. Gah.

For the next three weeks I'll try to get organized...so that when I hit that first week of meeting after meeting, I'll still remember that I actually took two classes and developed some new ideas.

Can it REALLY be time for the school supplies to be on sale? Already?

I'm a proponent of school, but I'm also a proponent of rest. When it's time to work, work hard. When it's time to rest, enjoy it.

Where did the summer go? My kids were out for two weeks while my school finished up, and it's been insane ride ever since. Two grad classes. VBS. Vacation. A week of collapse. (I liked that week.) A week of lawn work, and a week of house work. Well, you can't tell now that I did those things, but I did. Band camp. State Fair. Glue sticks and 15 cent notebooks.

Which don't belong there?

I don't want to go gently into that good night...I want to resist the evils of back-to-school shopping. If I shop, it means I've been assimilated.

But, 15 cent notebooks? That's a hard deal to pass up...

Tonight we had a tick burning.

Nick had ridden horses for a Boy Scout merit badge. He excitedly raced through all the events of the evening and then looked down to his jeans and asked, "Mom, uh...is this a tick on my jeans?" I took a look. Yup.

I went for the tweezers, picked up the specimen, and went to the stove top for a quick flame. No more tick. Nick was watching over my shoulder. "Cool, Mom! Why did you do that?" I wanted to say, "Because I'm a pyro," just to see what he'd say. However, I just explained that it was the only way to kill the tick through its exoskeleton (or whatever that's called). I spent the remainder of the night glancing here and there to make sure Mr. Tick didn't have any friends with him...

Okay, so I think it's kinda creepy to find out my own husband has been stalking my blog. I mean, we're married. He shouldn't be stalking my blog. He should be a "follower." Yeah, he should FOLLOW me. I like that idea. He told me, "I open. I read. I close. I move on." Gross. I feel so dirty and used. :)

"Miles to go before I sleep..." words from Robert Frost...

I have thoroughly become addicted to walking this summer. I did a lot of it last summer, too, but I'm enjoying it more this summer. Maybe it's because I have two walking buddies, or maybe because I'm walking more in the coolness of the evening and the process is more invigorating.

Last summer I lost inches and about 15 pounds. This summer, well...suffice it to say that I don't think I've changed shape at all. BUT, the walking has churned up my endorphins, making me FEEL better. I've been keeping track on Dailymile.com...49 miles since July 1st (and that was with one week without walking).

Why do so many miles? Is it just fitness? No. No one but God and my gastrointestinal system knows the stress I'm under. I'm not saying that people wouldn't understand...I'm just saying that no one realizes the degree and the depth of my issues. I'm a good "stuffer." I'm a good actress most days. Yesterday I thought I was growing my first-ever ulcer.

But when I'm walking, it all goes away for a while. For a while I can focus on the road, or my walking partner's conversation, or the sky, or the innumerable bunnies we see. I enjoy the sweat beads forming on my upper lip (some sweat on the forehead, and others more at the pits...me? The upper lip!) and wiping them away...as if I'm wiping away my stress.

I'm not relying only on walking to help me, because that would be a losing battle. I go to scripture and to Christian music to soothe my soul in trying times. Isaiah 43:2-3 is my mantra right now. And music? "Revelation Song" by Phillips, Craig, and Dean. Different things speak to me at different times, and right now, these are the ones.

I'm praying that my walking partners and I can still find time to walk once school is back in session. :)

There's a lost art out there, and it's called "Front Porch Sittin'."

Today my hubby and I went out to the front porch. I sat on the swing, and he sat on a chair. We talked. We didn't text each other, and we didn't each have a laptop going. We talked about the rain, the lightning, the coolness, his job, my job, our children. In our insanely busy world, "front porch sittin' " is becoming more rare. We thoroughly enjoyed it!

It's been a while since I posted anything, but that's primarily because the end of school was terribly busy and tiring!

But my biggest excitement today is that RYAN LIKES ICE! :)

All kids on the autism spectrum have their own peculiarities, and Ryan is no exception. As he grows and experiences more, the less I see the autistic streaks. For example, Ryan has hated ice all of his 6.5 years. I don't know if it's the look, feel, or sound...but he has thrown monumental fits about getting ice in his cup. Well, Ryan basically trained us to remember that he was NEVER to get ice in his cup.

As Ryan was preparing to go to Cub Scout Day Camp, Wayne told him he had to take a water bottle~complete with really cool straw~and he needed to fill it with ice. To our surprise, Ryan didn't have a meltdown; he just kinda whined. We filled his new bottle with ice and water, showed him how to open up the straw part, and he took a sip. HE NOW LOVES ICE. Go figure.

Thank you, Lord, for those little things in life!

Whew. I've been complaining for a couple of weeks that I was ready for the rain to stop and ready for the warmer spring weather to begin. I guess we fastforwarded straight to August, complete with heat and humidity. As humans, we're always quick to judge. Quick to complain. Quick to blame God. But is an attitude of gratitude really that hard? I guess it's like anything else...with practice, it becomes part of us. Want to shoot a better game of golf? Go practice. Want to have a better race time? Go practice. Want to learn more about God? We've got to practice (by going to church, attending small groups, etc.) If we want an attitude of gratitude, we have to find the positive in every day and let God know we appreciate ALL He does for us!

Ryan lost his other front tooth tonight; he's officially "Toothless Joe." I don't know where we got that term, but we grew up hearing my dad use it and we just started using it, too. In the midst of losing two teeth in the past week and struggling with a stomach virus of some sort, Ryan was MORE focused on joining Tiger Scouts and going to his first pack meeting. Tonight, he happily donned the regalia of scouting. He was ecstatic to be going to the meeting with his dad, and Wayne said Ryan did great. Smiles for everyone tonight! Wayne had to run another errand, so Ryan "had" to stay with me. He said, "What? I have to stay with MOM?" He surely does love his daddy!

Am I always that happy to be with my heavenly Father? To just smile to be in His presence? To forget all of the other crud of the week and just focus on abiding in Him?

Our family is following "The Plan." Three of the five of us need to lose weight and get healthy, and with the help of some great friends, we're going forward to do the best we can. We cleaned out the junk food and took a couple of grocery trips for fresh fruits and veggies and no processed items. Our goal is to avoid pop and fast food this week, take our lunches to work/school, exercise 4-5 nights this week for at least 20 minutes, and make the healthiest food choices we can. There was no reason to start counting calories, points, or fat grams. We just need to turn our ship around and change our mindset. Today was Day #2...and the first day with taking lunches and dealing with work/school. Everyone reported that the day went well! I made a healthy dinner and hopefully made enough to warm up for lunch tomorrow.

It's no big secret that music very much ministers to my soul. We joke at Worship Team that we have a Top 10 list (but we probably have 50 songs on that list!)... but the #1 song rotates depending on what is ministering to me on a given day or at a given time in my life.

A couple of weeks ago, Melody gave us the music for "Hail to the King," which is not one I had heard before. It's by Don Moen, so I knew it would be great--love all his music. However, this one has spoken deeply to my soul in the past two weeks. I can't even really tell you why; it just has.

I walked into Wednesday's WT practice in a bit of a sour mood--that's May for teachers--but when we hit that song, my mood changed. I thanked Melody for picking it and I have found myself humming or singing it ALL THE TIME.

Last night, I could tell my blood pressure was high. I almost felt that I was going to be sick to my stomach, I got light-headed, and I developed a bad headache. I took my meds and pulled up "Hail to the King" on You Tube and watched/listened three times in a row and was able to relax and fall asleep. Thanks, Lord.

IT'S OFFICIAL!!!! I'm finally of an age--or should I say MY KIDS ARE OF THE AGE--that I can more easily meet with friends for dinner or a movie or a chat and I can leave the kids at home and not feel guilty. I've waited sooooo long, and it's finally here. Tonight I enjoyed dinner with friends, and it was the boost I needed after a busy and somewhat stressful week!

A friend of ours gave Ryan a Namco Pac-Man controller that plugs into the tv, and viola...Pac-Man games appear! What a hoot! It reminded me of the days of going to Pizza Hut on a weekend and playing a game or two of Pac-Man on a big console they had. Each game was a mere quarter.

The most interesting is Super Pac-Man, which I don't remember from my youth. What seems to make it different is that if Pac-Man eats a green icon (fruit, Ryan tells me), he triples in size and can gobble up more of what's in his path.

Wouldn't we all be super if we gobbled up God's word a little more, or a little more regularly?

I saw LETTERS TO GOD tonight. I knew I'd cry (heck, I cried during the trailer shown at church last week!), but I had no idea that kleenex would be useless...so I just let the tears stream down my face, neck, and onto my hoodie. Thankfully, Chris K. brought me a travel pack of tissue so that I could at least blow my nose a few times. I'm grateful that Chris and Jodi were able to bring that movie to town--I know they've had good attendance. The message is so clear, so poignant, that it should--MUST--be shared with everyone!

A million things are racing through my brain, but all I reallllly want to do is sleep. May is one of the busiest months for our family and for my job, so I'm just praying that June gets here as quickly and as painlessly as possible! When a million things are buzzing around in my brain, I just have to take a deep breath and focus on God for strength, direction, and clarity. I have several big issues that need to be resolved in the next week or two, and I can't put them off. I recently told a friend to meet her issues head on...sometimes we give advice that we ourselves need to heed!

TBALL STARTS TONIGHT. Oh my. We're praying that it's not the "torture ball" of the past. More than that, we just enjoy sitting as a family, watching the kids run the bases and gobble up snacks at the end. Nick is going to be an ump this season, so that's special (We call him "Blue" since his ASA umpire shirt is blue).

"Everybody falls sometimes"...that was the beginning phrase of a song we practiced at worship team tonight. As much as we KNOW what we should do, as much as we WANT to do...we DON'T do. Most of the time, anyway. Paul struggled with what he did vs. what he wanted to be. We all do because we're OH SO HUMAN.

I find it ironic that the more that we become connected to our electronic devices, the more isolated we become.

Sure, I get and return more messages, check the weather, check on the kids, spend time on Facebook "keeping up" with people and communicating information to relatives, friends, students, and church members. But where's the love? :) I mean, I learn more from a tone of voice, a subtle gesture, or even the flash or sparkle in someone's eyes. That's where the relationship -- the friendship -- is built. Although I can use all of these methods to communicate faster and more often, I'm not sure if these methods are actually better. A phone call might be a little better than the computer or texting, but I think that my husband said it best: "There's nothing like front porch sittin'." Let's grab some iced tea this spring/summer and encourage friendship and communication by sitting on our front porches!

So much for finishing the mowing jobs tonight after school. It rained enough to prevent the mowing, but it has also cooled off. I became a bit irritated because, darn it, it's May and should be the perfect temperature and humidity, right? However, I thought about the summer weather that'll be upon us quickly...then I'll wish I had these sub-60 degree temps. As humans, we're never satisfied, are we? And we always think we have the best plan and know just how things should be. Lord, help me focus on You today and rely on You to lead me down the path You've chosen.

I've heard that movie theater-goers, especially kids, tend to text during movies, causing a bright glare that distracts other attendees. I have to admit; I've texted during a movie before. Ryan was watching a kid's movie, and I was "multi-tasking." I never thought about the glare or possible distraction. I guess I was lucky that night because the theater workers didn't see me or say anything about it!

What if we treated God the way we treated our cell phones? We check for messages numerous times a day, we send back just as many messages, we make sure we have the phone in our pockets wherever we go. How awesome would our relationship with God be if we gave Him that much time and that much honor?

I am very tired this morning, but it's a "good" tired. As I worked yesterday afternoon on lesson plans for the rest of the year, I realized there's not much time left but yet so much I want to do. It's like that in my Christian walk. There's not much time left! Even if I live another 40-50 years (which doesn't sound like much now that I'm 43), there's so much that God wants me to do. The question is...what? I do wish that sometimes He'd just use a humongous billboard to indicate what we should be doing at any given time. BUT, I'll have to rely on listening, praying, and discerning! :) Some of those answers have been made clearer to me recently, and that direction encourages me greatly.

The maze I call my mind...that's so true. The original title of this blog was "rants and raves of and English teacher," but I think I did more ranting than anything. I was so negative when I started this blog. I have felt so much healing in the past year and am thankful that I have come to a point in my Christian walk to share more effectively with others. Mostly, I feel God using me to mend situations, whether created by me or just situations that I'm aware of that others have shared. I pray that I say and do what it is God wants of me! Better is one day in His courts than thousands elsewhere...