The last day of school is finally over. What a long (hot) haul the last two weeks have been!

Unfortunately, I still need to come back tomorrow to finish up some tasks. However, I am glad to say this school year is over! We have a lot of new challenges coming in the fall with the new national Common Core Standards, but at least I've figured out a basic curriculum and can now let go and enjoy the summer!

I was blessed with two sets of "words" today.

One set was actually a set of papers--Teacher of the Year nominations from anonymous students. The part that was so rewarding was that they felt that I respected and cared for them...and that I was willing to take time with anyone who didn't understand. That's the way I've looked at my career, but I'll be honest. There are days that I have to bite my tongue and kick my backside in order to not let the sarcasm--a terrible vice--bubble to the surface. I revert to sarcasm when I feel there's nothing positive that can be said, but I guess this stack of papers reveals to me that kids are watching, are getting something out of my class. I've vowed to reduce the sarcasm next year and to just do what God made me to do: reach and teach.

The other set of words today came in the form of an email. It's no secret to our friends that our lives our changing. Wayne is changing professions, and that has meant trying to cope with -- ahem--I mean, welcome-- other subsequent changes. This friend said exactly what I was feeling, what I was hoping someone would say. She was right--God's plans are perfect, but not painless.

At graduation on Sunday, I heard the quote attributed to Dr. Seuss: "Don't be sad it's over. Be glad it happened." I'm starting to view our changes in that light, but it's still hard.

k.

No one understood Forrest Gump.

Most people thought they were smarter. Better. At everything. Few got to know him personally and how much he had to offer.

But the more I watch that movie, the more I realize that Forrest Gump looks a lot like Jesus. The unconditional love...the willingness to sacrifice and do what was necessary in a particular time and place...to speak up when it would've been easier to be quiet.

And when we realize that we do need someone--someone to stand by us no matter what--someone to forgive the mistakes we've made--someone to accept us--we want a Forrest Gump. We want Jesus.

The character of Jenny is a wild one. I can't say that I ever came close to all those antics, but I have made mistakes, been selfish, attempted to control my destiny. The world will lead us right to the ledge and almost dare us to jump off. The world is in total opposition to what God wants...we have to ask if we're truly going to follow the One who will lead us to hope and peace or if we're going to let the world dictate everything we do and lead us to more vices than I care to list.

Right now it's funny to think that about 30 years ago, I went on the famous "Cover Trip" to Washington, DC. Kristen went five years ago; Nick is on his way now. Mom asked me yesterday what I remembered from the trip, and although my memory has faded, I still remember the tours, monuments, and museums. I remember having homework at night and being scared to death about a debate we had with other touring students. Most of all, I remember that I wanted to be a politician "when I grew up."

Before anyone laughs about that, just remember what politicians are voted into office to do--to change the world.

It reminds me of the movie Evan Almighty. Evan Baxter wanted to change the world, too. He did...once he listened to God.

I wonder how I will change my little corner of the world tomorrow?

k.

I have been blessed this week with an amazing number of texts, calls, cards, emails, and FB messages...I have been as overwhelmed today with support as I was with grief a few days ago. I know that it's really easy to become busy just living your own life, but what a blessing to others you can be by just sending a card, a message, a text.

Words are so powerful.

For those who have used words, both verbal and written, to hurt my family...I have forgiven and have prayed for you today. For those who have used words to heal my raw soul, I thank you.

k.

To expound on the previous blog...You know, I've realized that for a good portion of my life (maybe all of it), God really hasn't asked me to do anything hard. No huge sacrifices being asked of me, no real issues beyond the typical range of emotion. A loving spouse, great kids, jobs to put food on the table...

Or maybe He has asked me to sacrifice, and I just didn't realize it.

Or mabye He has asked me to sacrifice, and I just ignored it.

It's easy to say "God is in control" or "Let go and let God," but it is much more difficult to actually live out...especially for a recovering control freak like me.

k.

Our lives have totally changed.

I have been slow to process it all, but know this: God is in control. It has taken me 4 months to feel it, believe it...even though I've said it for years and years.

k.

It's time to get serious. Serious about several things.

First, I set a goal to lose 25 pounds by Labor Day. I'm not even to 10 pounds lost. :(

Second, I want to totally overhaul our family budget. The economy is not helping. :(

Third, I need to finish my summer cleaning jobs. Okay. Well, um....I need to begin my summer cleaning jobs.

Where did the summer go?

I was reflecting tonight on the two classes that I took to renew my license. I think the state runs quite a racket by requiring teacher to continue to shell out hundreds of dollars each licensing cycle to just keep teaching, but I digress.

The first class was about designing motivation. I was glad to find out that I already do a lot of what was suggested, but I did come up with a few new ideas to try out. The second class was about classroom management (and that creativity and a multiple-intelligences approach will eliminate many behavioral issues), and I came up with several ideas to use during the ROMEO AND JULIET unit, as well as the TO KILL A MOCKINGBIRD unit.

As I was mulling over these new ideas, I became nauseated: School starts in three weeks. Gah.

For the next three weeks I'll try to get organized...so that when I hit that first week of meeting after meeting, I'll still remember that I actually took two classes and developed some new ideas.

Can it REALLY be time for the school supplies to be on sale? Already?

I'm a proponent of school, but I'm also a proponent of rest. When it's time to work, work hard. When it's time to rest, enjoy it.

Where did the summer go? My kids were out for two weeks while my school finished up, and it's been insane ride ever since. Two grad classes. VBS. Vacation. A week of collapse. (I liked that week.) A week of lawn work, and a week of house work. Well, you can't tell now that I did those things, but I did. Band camp. State Fair. Glue sticks and 15 cent notebooks.

Which don't belong there?

I don't want to go gently into that good night...I want to resist the evils of back-to-school shopping. If I shop, it means I've been assimilated.

But, 15 cent notebooks? That's a hard deal to pass up...

Tonight we had a tick burning.

Nick had ridden horses for a Boy Scout merit badge. He excitedly raced through all the events of the evening and then looked down to his jeans and asked, "Mom, uh...is this a tick on my jeans?" I took a look. Yup.

I went for the tweezers, picked up the specimen, and went to the stove top for a quick flame. No more tick. Nick was watching over my shoulder. "Cool, Mom! Why did you do that?" I wanted to say, "Because I'm a pyro," just to see what he'd say. However, I just explained that it was the only way to kill the tick through its exoskeleton (or whatever that's called). I spent the remainder of the night glancing here and there to make sure Mr. Tick didn't have any friends with him...

Okay, so I think it's kinda creepy to find out my own husband has been stalking my blog. I mean, we're married. He shouldn't be stalking my blog. He should be a "follower." Yeah, he should FOLLOW me. I like that idea. He told me, "I open. I read. I close. I move on." Gross. I feel so dirty and used. :)

"Miles to go before I sleep..." words from Robert Frost...

I have thoroughly become addicted to walking this summer. I did a lot of it last summer, too, but I'm enjoying it more this summer. Maybe it's because I have two walking buddies, or maybe because I'm walking more in the coolness of the evening and the process is more invigorating.

Last summer I lost inches and about 15 pounds. This summer, well...suffice it to say that I don't think I've changed shape at all. BUT, the walking has churned up my endorphins, making me FEEL better. I've been keeping track on Dailymile.com...49 miles since July 1st (and that was with one week without walking).

Why do so many miles? Is it just fitness? No. No one but God and my gastrointestinal system knows the stress I'm under. I'm not saying that people wouldn't understand...I'm just saying that no one realizes the degree and the depth of my issues. I'm a good "stuffer." I'm a good actress most days. Yesterday I thought I was growing my first-ever ulcer.

But when I'm walking, it all goes away for a while. For a while I can focus on the road, or my walking partner's conversation, or the sky, or the innumerable bunnies we see. I enjoy the sweat beads forming on my upper lip (some sweat on the forehead, and others more at the pits...me? The upper lip!) and wiping them away...as if I'm wiping away my stress.

I'm not relying only on walking to help me, because that would be a losing battle. I go to scripture and to Christian music to soothe my soul in trying times. Isaiah 43:2-3 is my mantra right now. And music? "Revelation Song" by Phillips, Craig, and Dean. Different things speak to me at different times, and right now, these are the ones.

I'm praying that my walking partners and I can still find time to walk once school is back in session. :)

There's a lost art out there, and it's called "Front Porch Sittin'."

Today my hubby and I went out to the front porch. I sat on the swing, and he sat on a chair. We talked. We didn't text each other, and we didn't each have a laptop going. We talked about the rain, the lightning, the coolness, his job, my job, our children. In our insanely busy world, "front porch sittin' " is becoming more rare. We thoroughly enjoyed it!

It's been a while since I posted anything, but that's primarily because the end of school was terribly busy and tiring!

But my biggest excitement today is that RYAN LIKES ICE! :)

All kids on the autism spectrum have their own peculiarities, and Ryan is no exception. As he grows and experiences more, the less I see the autistic streaks. For example, Ryan has hated ice all of his 6.5 years. I don't know if it's the look, feel, or sound...but he has thrown monumental fits about getting ice in his cup. Well, Ryan basically trained us to remember that he was NEVER to get ice in his cup.

As Ryan was preparing to go to Cub Scout Day Camp, Wayne told him he had to take a water bottle~complete with really cool straw~and he needed to fill it with ice. To our surprise, Ryan didn't have a meltdown; he just kinda whined. We filled his new bottle with ice and water, showed him how to open up the straw part, and he took a sip. HE NOW LOVES ICE. Go figure.

Thank you, Lord, for those little things in life!

Whew. I've been complaining for a couple of weeks that I was ready for the rain to stop and ready for the warmer spring weather to begin. I guess we fastforwarded straight to August, complete with heat and humidity. As humans, we're always quick to judge. Quick to complain. Quick to blame God. But is an attitude of gratitude really that hard? I guess it's like anything else...with practice, it becomes part of us. Want to shoot a better game of golf? Go practice. Want to have a better race time? Go practice. Want to learn more about God? We've got to practice (by going to church, attending small groups, etc.) If we want an attitude of gratitude, we have to find the positive in every day and let God know we appreciate ALL He does for us!

Ryan lost his other front tooth tonight; he's officially "Toothless Joe." I don't know where we got that term, but we grew up hearing my dad use it and we just started using it, too. In the midst of losing two teeth in the past week and struggling with a stomach virus of some sort, Ryan was MORE focused on joining Tiger Scouts and going to his first pack meeting. Tonight, he happily donned the regalia of scouting. He was ecstatic to be going to the meeting with his dad, and Wayne said Ryan did great. Smiles for everyone tonight! Wayne had to run another errand, so Ryan "had" to stay with me. He said, "What? I have to stay with MOM?" He surely does love his daddy!

Am I always that happy to be with my heavenly Father? To just smile to be in His presence? To forget all of the other crud of the week and just focus on abiding in Him?

Our family is following "The Plan." Three of the five of us need to lose weight and get healthy, and with the help of some great friends, we're going forward to do the best we can. We cleaned out the junk food and took a couple of grocery trips for fresh fruits and veggies and no processed items. Our goal is to avoid pop and fast food this week, take our lunches to work/school, exercise 4-5 nights this week for at least 20 minutes, and make the healthiest food choices we can. There was no reason to start counting calories, points, or fat grams. We just need to turn our ship around and change our mindset. Today was Day #2...and the first day with taking lunches and dealing with work/school. Everyone reported that the day went well! I made a healthy dinner and hopefully made enough to warm up for lunch tomorrow.

It's no big secret that music very much ministers to my soul. We joke at Worship Team that we have a Top 10 list (but we probably have 50 songs on that list!)... but the #1 song rotates depending on what is ministering to me on a given day or at a given time in my life.

A couple of weeks ago, Melody gave us the music for "Hail to the King," which is not one I had heard before. It's by Don Moen, so I knew it would be great--love all his music. However, this one has spoken deeply to my soul in the past two weeks. I can't even really tell you why; it just has.

I walked into Wednesday's WT practice in a bit of a sour mood--that's May for teachers--but when we hit that song, my mood changed. I thanked Melody for picking it and I have found myself humming or singing it ALL THE TIME.

Last night, I could tell my blood pressure was high. I almost felt that I was going to be sick to my stomach, I got light-headed, and I developed a bad headache. I took my meds and pulled up "Hail to the King" on You Tube and watched/listened three times in a row and was able to relax and fall asleep. Thanks, Lord.

IT'S OFFICIAL!!!! I'm finally of an age--or should I say MY KIDS ARE OF THE AGE--that I can more easily meet with friends for dinner or a movie or a chat and I can leave the kids at home and not feel guilty. I've waited sooooo long, and it's finally here. Tonight I enjoyed dinner with friends, and it was the boost I needed after a busy and somewhat stressful week!